BLUE DREAM
when the curse breaks and you can love yourself again
I’m in a desert for the first time. Something about the openness of the landscape and the way the Earth here reflects conservation and self-preservation is making me shed deeper layers of the intergenerational My Life Can’t Be This Good, Easy, or Beautiful curse.
Curses are generally thought of as an all at once application and removal process but in my experience, curses can also be applied layer by layer which means they can be removed in layers. It’s kinda a there’s good news and there’s bad news situation.
But right now I’m experiencing a layer shed without having been expecting it or even totally aware it was there, so it feels like good news to me. Some curses are so thick that if they broke all at once (without the right conditions) you could feel like you’re losing your mind.
When curses start to break it creates space. That space is for dreaming.
When something lifts or opens in your energetic field and you feel freer, you can see more clearly, that open space isn’t for filling with outcomes, objectives, and action. That space is for dreaming.
If you respect the dreaming space, in the absence of the curse you will immediately gain a (re)newed appreciation for the blessings you’re already surrounded by. Because natural law includes the principle of increase, appreciation creates abundance.
Noticing what is good now allows the space the curse left behind (thank you!) to be filled with more of what you want. This is what I mean by dreaming; noticing, appreciating, and desiring more. That’s enough to create the consciousness that creates the living daydream of life.
As curses are lifted and spells are broken I remember that my deepest dreaming is to be myself. It sounds simple but I know that for many of us being yourself actually means examining conditioning, releasing resistance to your true nature, and developing the bravery to emerge in authenticity again and again.
This is some of the medicine Mars in leo until mid-June can give us as we integrate the recent retrograde in cancer. From September until April you were being initiated into remembering and transmuting what prevents you from being yourself in the first place.
The transition from aries (Mars) to taurus (Venus) is the story of what comes after being you are yourself. You then begin to relate to the world as yourself. This creates the unique beauty, pleasure, and joy of connection that you’re here to experience.
If you understand that, then you can imagine what is created when you’re not being yourself. Your relationship to beauty, pleasure, and the joy of connection gets distorted, even repressed. If it’s not safe to be you, how can it be safe to love what you love?
If you aren’t loving yourself, how can you love the world?
My deepest desire for dreamers under this new moon is that you would not just remember but allow yourself to be who you are and love what you love. I pray that the idea that one day you will become an ideal version of “yourself” will die in the desert of self-preservation and you will embrace the dream you already are. May every drop of original innocence you’ve been storing in cacti covered in spikes become available to you again like a river flowing through the mountains.
May it be enough to behold the beauty of yourself and the world as it is, trusting the curses will lift when you’re ready and you will have so much space to dream. 💚